Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory