I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.