the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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