I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.