I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
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Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
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We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
well, you know. whores of a feather.