He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
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did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had