my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed