you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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