But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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