I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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