The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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