Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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