and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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