I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
