He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize