I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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