two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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