Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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