i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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