I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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