C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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