So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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