I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
