dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
