i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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