So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
