People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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