I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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