I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
