New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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