oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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