loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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