Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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