she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
