The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
