youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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