Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize