Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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