dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
