I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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