the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
