We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
BRING THE BAGELS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
