I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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