I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize