My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
