I want to make a zoo with you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
