Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
