Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
