i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
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They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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