He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand