I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
