I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
