I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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