sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
