I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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