I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
