i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Your cock deserves a montage
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
