omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This girl is more easily done than said...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
