My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
