direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
