I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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