just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize