i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
