She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
