I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
