She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
