im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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