no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
