She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
