I faked an abortion last night.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
