What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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